Canadian-Mexican-British Coalition Sends "Help" to LA Wildfire Victims

In an act of unparalleled charity (and perhaps a pinch of sarcasm), the newly formed Canadian-Mexican-British coalition has announced it will send supplies to help Los Angeles residents affected by devastating wildfires. But instead of water, blankets, or even emotional support, the coalition’s chosen aid package consists of… fuel and matches.

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, flanked by Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador and UK Prime Minister Nigel Beardley, addressed the media with their characteristic earnestness. “We’ve heard the cries for help coming from our neighbors to the south,” Trudeau said, holding a box of wooden matches aloft. “And we want to do what Canadians do best: lend a hand, even when it’s not necessarily wanted.”

President Obrador chimed in, “Los Angeles has always been known for its wildfires. We’re simply ensuring they’re the best wildfires.” Meanwhile, Beardley, visibly holding back laughter, added, “We thought about sending rain, but let’s be honest, that’s a bit pedestrian. Nothing says we care quite like a tanker of gasoline and a good old-fashioned Zippo lighter.”

The announcement has sparked outrage from American officials. California Governor Gavin Newsom called the coalition’s move “absolutely unhinged.” However, some LA residents took a more pragmatic view. “Honestly, if they’re going to burn us out, we may as well have some fun,” said one local while roasting marshmallows over a flaming hedge.

The coalition claims the move is symbolic, highlighting their frustration with the United States’ heavy-handed approach to international relations. “We’re not just fanning flames literally,” Trudeau explained. “We’re doing it diplomatically, too. It’s called multi-tasking.”