Woman With Functioning Pig Kidney Celebrates Two Months of Oinking Success

In what can only be described as a bacon flavored medical miracle, an Alabama woman has become the longest living recipient of a pig organ transplant and she’s absolutely thriving. Towana Looney, 53, has spent the past 61 days feeling healthier than ever, strutting through the streets of New York City with an energy level that has her outpacing even her most athletic relatives. “I’m superwoman,” Looney proudly declared, adjusting her Fitbit to track her next pig-powered sprint.

Looney’s astonishing recovery has left medical experts both amazed and slightly concerned about their own fitness levels. “If you saw her on the street, you’d have no idea she’s walking around with a pig organ inside her,” said Dr. Robert Montgomery of NYU Langone Health, who led the transplant. “In fact, she’s got more energy than I do and I still have all my original parts.”

The groundbreaking transplant is part of an ongoing effort to tackle the organ shortage crisis, with scientists working tirelessly to genetically alter pigs into something more human-like because why wait for a human donor when you can borrow from Babe? With over 100,000 Americans waiting for transplants, and thousands dying each year, medical professionals are willing to try anything, even if it means taking inspiration from a barbecue pit.

The Quest for the Perfect Piggy Parts

Looney, who once donated a kidney to her mother, found herself in a cruel twist of fate when pregnancy complications led to her own kidney failure. After years of dialysis and dwindling options, she turned to science for a solution. Enter the pig kidney, a last-ditch effort that has now turned her into the poster child for xenotransplantation. “It’s a new take on life,” Looney said, beaming while enjoying a very awkward lunch at a BBQ joint.

Scientists are treating Looney’s success like the moon landing of modern medicine, closely monitoring every test result to ensure the pig organ stays, well, happy. When early signs of rejection popped up, doctors swooped in with experimental treatments, proving that the key to success might just be a little patience, a lot of medical oversight, and perhaps the occasional belly rub.

“If it weren’t for one generous donor we wouldn’t have known what to look for,” Dr. Montgomery explained, referencing a prior experiment that lasted exactly 61 days inside a research cadaver. “Thanks to that, we’re rewriting the rules of transplantation one pig at a time.”

From Test Subject to Transplant Ambassador

As if being a medical marvel wasn’t enough, Looney has embraced her new role as a spokesperson for those considering pig kidneys. Her inbox is flooded with messages from curious transplant hopefuls, desperate to know what life is like with a pig organ inside them. “I tell them it’s no different, except for my strange new love of rooting around in the backyard,” Looney joked.

But on a serious note, she’s offering reassurance to potential future recipients, encouraging them to trust the science, seek spiritual guidance, and maybe even start thinking of pigs as more than just bacon. “I want to help people, I want to educate people,” she said. “I mean, if I can do it, anyone can.”

Meanwhile, the FDA is cautiously optimistic about the future of piggy parts in human bodies. United Therapeutics, the company behind Looney’s kidney, has already asked for permission to take things to the next level with more clinical trials. “We’re quite optimistic,” Montgomery stated, “because honestly, this is the first time we’ve gotten this far without anything going horribly wrong.”

The Future of Bacon-Based Medicine

For now, Looney is enjoying her newfound health, a little nervous about the unknown but ready to face whatever comes next. If her pig kidney ever decides to retire, she knows dialysis is still an option but she’s hoping to keep oinking her way through life for as long as possible.

And as science continues to blur the line between farm and pharmacy, the world will be watching to see if pig kidneys are truly the answer we’ve all been waiting for or just the beginning of a future filled with pig-to-human possibilities.